Here's My Latest Post from the Catholic Writer's Guild Blog
What Was Intended for
Harm . . .
Several years ago, my family and I were seated in lawn
chairs in a shopping center parking lot that overlooked Pittsburgh's skyline.
As darkness descended, we gazed at the sky awaiting the city's Fourth of July
fireworks when my soon-to-be son-in-law bolted from his chair and made a
beeline to a store.
"Where's he going?" I asked my daughter, wondering
why her fiancé suddenly had a need to go to the dollar store, which was about
to close.
"Remember when he was in high school and he worked for
that mean store owner? How that guy was always calling him an idiot and telling
him that he would never amount to anything?" I nodded. "The guy in
that dollar store is that mean owner. He's going to go tell him that he was
wrong, that he'd graduated with an engineering degree, and that he was now working
for defense contractor designing technology that would keep his miserable butt
safe."
My son-in-law is a quiet, gentle, hard-working person, and
since this was now eight years after he had spent a summer unpacking boxes at
this man's dollar store, I knew that the store owner's unfair and demoralizing
criticism of my son-in-law must have really lodged in his psyche.
Each year when my daughter was in grade school, the school
participated in a reading competition sponsored by Pizza Hut. Students were
required to read a certain number of books to get a free pan pizza. When she
was in fourth grade, she was required to read ten books. One of my favorite
books as a young girl was Louisa Mae Alcott's Little Women, and I couldn't wait for her to be able to read it and
discover what a delight it was. A good reader, she asked her teacher if instead
of reading ten smaller books, could she read Little Women.
Her teacher vehemently refused to even consider it.
"No. You cannot read it. That book is too advanced for a fourth-grader.
You'll never be able to read that large of a book by the deadline. Read Ramona or Babysitters Club books," said the teacher. My daughter relayed
that conversation to me, and then set her jaw. "I'll show her," she
said. "I'll read Little Women
and the ten stupid Babysitters Club
books!" And she did, much to her teacher's dismay.
I'm sure you've had an experience like those of my daughter
and son-in-law sometime in your life. I have. More than twenty years ago, I
began writing, and after having had several articles published (for pay!) and
writing a column for a local newspaper, I was encouraged to join a writing
organization. This statewide organization billed itself as a group that
encouraged writers and worked on their behalf. I had to submit proof that I was
a professional writer to be considered for membership. Imagine my surprise when
I received this message from the person in charge of recruiting members: "I
congratulate you on your moderate success and welcome you to the organization."
Moderate success? I had no illusions
that I was Nora Roberts or James Patterson, but who purports to encourage by
diminishing? I shook my head and laughed. I'll fix you, I thought. I'll keep on
writing.
We all know the value of encouragement. It warms the soul to
dish it out, and it is even more palatable to consume. Humanity gravitates to
the negative, and ironically, it's often the "discouragers" that make
an even bigger impression on our hopes and dreams than the encouragers. When
faced with this kind of slap in the face, you have two options: You can either
let the discouragers crush you or you can hitch your pants higher and get to
work disproving them. Sometimes, I think God allows these negative Nancy's into
our lives because they are exceptionally powerful motivators.
How do you rise above your detractors whether in regard to
your writing, your goals, or any other aspect of your life? Here are some
things to keep in mind. First, know God. If God has put this dream on your
heart or endowed you with a certain talent, remember, there is nothing that
will stop His will. Only you can thwart it by using your own free will and resisting
it. Second, know yourself. Had I been wobbly in my confidence of my dream or my
abilities, I would have been devastated by that backhanded compliment from that
writing organization. Deep down, I knew writing was for me, and there was
nothing he or anyone could have said to discourage me from pursuing it.
One of the most wonderful aspects of God is his power to transform
the negative into a positive. We see it in the story of Joseph in the Old
Testament. He takes a boy sold into slavery and transforms him into a leader
who will come to rescue his people. We see a young carpenter nailed to a cross
transform that suffering into salvation. Through grace, He gives that power to
us too.
In conclusion, if you are in God's will for you, whenever
you come up against a discourager, remember, this: With God's help, you have
the power to change what was intended for harm into something for good.
